Four hundred miles: That is the distance that separates me, a student at West Chester University (West Chester, PA) from my boyfriend, a student at East Carolina University (Greenville, NC).
As you can imagine, the responses I get when I inform people of this situation are not always the most pleasant. People look at me like I have three heads when I tell them that five states and a seven-hour car ride separates me from my significant other. They question how, and even why, I put myself in such an emotionally draining situation.
Being separated from each other for only one month so far doesn’t seem like a big deal when there are so many more to come. However, the amount of various different emotions we have both experienced within the past 30 days is unmeasurable.
Long distance relationships are without a doubt extremely hard to adjust to, but they are possible. I am not here to tell you a sob story about how I miss cuddling and watching “The Bachelor” on Monday nights with the love of my life, but rather to help others like me who are going through the same situation.
If you are anything like me, you probably read every website that comes up when you Google search “how to make long distance college relationships work.” Like most people, I was skeptical at first. I didn’t understand how random phone calls throughout the day and care packages with handwritten letters could possibly make the distance feel not-so big.
I thought all the ideas listed were super corny and I swore I’d never do any of them. I quickly realized that I was wrong, and the corny bloggers and relationship experts were right. Over the past month I have learned that if you are serious about wanting to make your relationship work, you need to go the extra mile.
“Relationships take work, and long distance college relationships take triple the amount of work. It is important to make compromises and be creative when figuring out when and where to see each other and how to stay connected.”
I have put together a list of what I believe to be the most effective ways to make long distance college relationships work.
FaceTime. When my boyfriend and I were talking about ways in which we would try to make our relationship work, FaceTiming was one of the ideas we threw around.
I didn’t really think FaceTiming would make that much of a difference but I can honestly say I totally underestimated its impact and I believe a lot of other people do the same. We FaceTime every night for at least one hour. Many days when I am feeling down, looking forward to our daily video chats helps me get through the day.
I have also concluded that instead of texting about some events that happen throughout the day, it is better to tell my partner about them on FaceTime because it feels more like a real conversation.
Make a calendar and paper chain. Making a calendar of visits was a must for me before my boyfriend and I both left for college. We bought cheap calendars at Walmart and marked down each weekend we planned on seeing each other. We both have the calendars hanging up in our dorm rooms and mark off each day that goes by.
We also make paper chains in between each of our visits. For example, if we have to go 20 days without seeing each other, we make a paper chain with 20 rings and rip one off each day. I recommend both of these techniques because they allow you to physically see the length of time.
Mailing packages. Sending one another care packages was always something I never thought my boyfriend and I would do; however, I was wrong. So far we have each sent each other one package of small, personal items.
Many people think they have to spend a lot of money in order for their package to be special, but that is not the case. My boyfriend and I bought small presents at five below and didn’t spend more than $20. However, receiving a package that I know came from the person I love made my entire day.
It gives you a warm feeling to know that the box and gifts you are receiving were in your partner’s hands a few days ago before they shipped them out.
Be creative. Relationships take work, and distance college relationships take triple the amount of work. It is important to make compromises and be creative when figuring out when and where to see each other and how to stay connected. For example, my boyfriend and I have planned a few weekends where we meet in the middle in Washington D.C.
To feel more like we are actually with each other when we are FaceTiming, we usually like to do the same things like play Trivia Crack or stalk the same person on Instagram.
We have also planned to buy the same jigsaw puzzle, start it at the same time, and see who can finish it first. Continuing to keep our Snapchat streak alive is also on our list. Ignore the criticisms and talk about your feelings. It is extremely hard to always keep a positive mind when people constantly tell you that your relationship will not last.
Though it is sometimes hard to ignore the comments people make and the occasional cute boy walking around, you have to stay loyal and positive in order to maintain your relationship.
It is also super important to talk about your emotions with your partner. You need to tell each other how you feel, even if you know it will make the other person a little bit upset.
All in all, long distance college relationships are hard, but as long as you have love and determination, there is no reason why you can’t make it work. It is important to find what works best for you and your partner and concentrate on that.
You are going to have bad days but you have to remind yourself that this situation is only temporary and before you know it you will be back enjoying time with your honey.
Alyssa Palumbo is a first-year student majoing in exercise science. She can be reached at AP870664@wcupa.edu. Her Twitter is @alyssapalumbo_.