Tue. May 28th, 2024

So, I was thinking about performing a little ditty halfnaked with a giant snake around my neck encouraging women to be slaves. Who am I? Well, hit me, baby, one more time, I’m Britney Spears.The “Princess of Pop” is at it again. She is now writing a column for her Web site so that she can personally tell her fans what is going on in the brain of Brit. I’m anticipating a beautiful, inspiring and artistic piece of writing, aren’t you? Well, if it’s anything like her singing, then…no.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoy this controversial entertainer. She brings something extra to the table. Extra voice synthesizers, to be precise. She doesn’t have the voice, but the girl can move. She is a pop icon for prepubescent delinquents and any man with a pulse. Bravo, Brit, you’ve made pants dance. So what else is new?

Spears wrote a column on Oct.15 to give her fans a little insight on her life with her new hubby, Kevin Federline. She informed readers that she has “learned to say ‘no'” to her demanding celebrity schedule, and explained that the pressure of the business is finally catching up to her. She is looking forward to her honeymoon as well as taking some time off to relax and start a family.

Time out! Let’s just take a moment to think about how Spears will look when she’s pregnant. Now let’s picture her after she’s had the baby. Will there be baby fat? Has anyone else had an instant confidence boost?

This picturesque beauty has it all, and her most recent column, which was printed on Nov. 8, proves it. After she wrote about her “absolutely breathtaking” honeymoon, she rambled on about her new house and how she’s decorating it.

“I love decorating; it’s very therapeutic for me.” She gushed, “I believe your house is a reflection of yourself, so I want everything in mine to be exquisite.” Well, don’t we think highly of ourselves! Throughout the rest of her letter, she basically reiterates what she said in her first update. Spears is trying to take some time for herself, and is finally realizing that she doesn’t need to dress up in a skin-tight red leather space suit to have a good time.

Surprisingly enough, Spears doesn’t want her face on the cover of magazines, but someone else’s. Perhaps even someone she discovers. “I really want to help other people achieve their dreams and possibly even develop new artists,” she said.

Despite the sarcasm, I believe that Spears really has an open heart, and whatever her dream may be, I wish her luck.

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