Still

I still love you 

And I don’t understand why 

You have done nothing to earn it 

You have lied 

You have cheated 

You have manipulated 

You have gaslit 

But I still 

I still 

Love you 

I love you so much that I have abandoned my own thoughts 

Forgot about all the bad times 

And seem to only remember good 

I seemed to forget about the bare minimum 

The lack of dates 

The times when your words did not match your actions 

The unprovoked lying 

The lack of commitment 

But I still reminisce about the times when you held me

When you wiped my tears 

When we stared in each other’s eyes 

When we would stay up late just talking 

When we would randomly laugh at each other’s unfunny jokes

I remember that 

I remember those times 

Because I refuse to think that you lied 

About everything else

To think that it all meant nothing to you 

I was just a point in your life where you marked “x” as the spot 

And I was the dot 

Just another target 

A girl you see something in 

But nothing with 

Just a dot 

A speck if you will 

It is as if I was there 

And you wiped your glasses 

And I was gone 

For good this time 

I wanted to stay 

I did not want to leave 

But it was as if you kept wiping me and wiping me, and I had no other choice but to disappear 

So I left 

I loved every minute of leaving too

Why would I stay?

It’s not like you deserved me

But the memories 

They didn’t leave 

I physically left 

But emotionally I’m still waiting for your embrace 

And every time that I see your face 

I wonder 

What if? 

I was right to leave 

But what if it all worked out? 

What if I stayed? 

What if you didn’t lie? 

But still 

In my heart I know 

Still

ANONYMOUS