“Overall Triumph of Religion, Northeast View” by Boston Public Library is licensed with CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.
The beliefs we hold dearest are what we refuse to question the hardest. We must ditch our core beliefs if we want to create a better world. Our parents weren’t always on the right side, and unless we question what they taught us, progress as a society will stagnate. We must remain committed to change despite rampant discourse on the internet, the uprise of fundamentalist thinking and the polarity of politics.
My parents aren’t actually the all-knowing gods of the universe I once thought they were. The curtain has been drawn back and the truth has been revealed: they were just as clueless as everyone else on this planet. Through no fault of their own — it’s impossible to know what parenting entails until afterward.
Anyone can experience this phenomenon of “discovering” parental missteps if they try, but for many people, that is where the thought process stops. Many skip on the equally important realization that their personal identity is just as faulty as their parents’ because they learned it from them.
For example, evidence supports that many teens blindly follow their parents’ religion. According to a survey held by the Pew Research Center last year, 50% of teens raised in a Christian household maintain their parents’ beliefs fully. In another Pew study from last year, 50-80% of college students agree with their parents that religion is “very important” (varying by religion).
While at college, students are in an environment where they can feel safe questioning their ideology — religion or not. Groups and organizations can coach them through breaking down their barriers and investigating their limits. Once one comes to terms with the facts, it seems obvious that our learned beliefs limit us.
We convince ourselves we know and act as if we’re right, but we’re each just as clueless as anyone else. As a child, you believe that your parents are the exception to that rule, and they know more than humanly possible. They are your guide and protector in the universe, no matter how objectively successful they are at parenting you.
Objective perfection is not real. Much of what was told to us was far less than perfect. Letting go of those more combative beliefs and embracing mindfulness increases serotonin output and reduces stress and anxiety, according to a study by PubMed Central. Stress and anxiety put a strain on social interaction, so their reduction is a net positive for society.
Holding onto beliefs from the past only makes us weaker as a society, but is ingrained in us by our parents’ fear of a changing future. The reality is that we are in charge of our own beliefs, and allowing someone else to make those decisions for us is irresponsible.
This irresponsibility festers in those who are taught awful things: racism, sexism, homophobia and all the prejudices shared throughout the world. The truth is, many of these beliefs are not inherent but learned. A world where people are aware and critical of their beliefs is a better world for all of us.