Losing my best friend to addiction

Cover photo: courtesy of Genevieve Shawcross. – “Larissa, age 12, carrying Genevieve, age 11, after she fell while ice skating.”

Nov. 1, 2020. It was just a normal day, until it wasn’t. I’ll never forget the phone call — the moment I received news that made my world collapse in on me: “Larissa died last night.” The words struck me like lightning, and I immediately went numb and completely speechless with nothing but a stream of tears coming out of me. I had been lucky enough in life that I had not experienced the death of anyone close to me, and I never expected this first devastating experience to be my best friend of 11 years — a beautiful, smart, kind 21-year-old. She was only 21.

I met Larissa in fifth grade after our sisters, who were the same grade in middle school and already best friends, introduced us. She offered me a piece of gum, and of course, I loved her instantly. All throughout middle school and high school we were absolutely inseparable. If I was getting in trouble, Larissa wasn’t far behind and vice-versa. She was a leader in school — captain of the soccer team, had big roles in the theatre musicals, a cheerleader and an honor roll student on top of it all. We experienced all of our “firsts” together and shared secrets and memories that nobody else has ever known.

Nothing can prepare you for the shock and pain of the bizarre ways of death. Several months later, I still find myself confused when I think about how I will never talk to her or see her again. Everyday, I’m tempted to call her and talk about one of the crazy things we did as delinquent high schoolers, sneaking out and doing things we definitely should not have been. Our friendship was different and incomparable to anything else. No one will ever be able to replace our relationship, and I will forever have a hole in my heart, a piece of me missing. 

While I choose to remember Larissa in her brightest days, it would be disingenuous of me to not recognize her darkest ones as well. Unfortunately, Larissa has become the perfect example of a young person who was capable of so many things but lost themselves to drugs and addiction. She is a reminder that addiction does not discriminate. Larissa was struggling immensely for years and had me and everyone else around her fully convinced that she was doing better. She was making plans. She was going back to school. She was working. She seemed happy. She seemed healthy. Her death was not expected. I refuse to euphemize this tragedy which has torn families and destroyed and taken so many lives and souls. I am not ashamed of what happened to Larissa, and I am not ashamed of being her friend. I speak openly about her demons because I don’t want anyone else to go through what she did.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 67,367 drug overdose deaths occurred in the United States in 2018. The death rate increased to over 70,000 in 2019. During the COVID-19 pandemic, overdose deaths accelerated with over 81,000 drug overdose deaths in the United States. This is the highest number of overdose deaths ever recorded in a 12-month period — Pennsylvania being the fourth out of highest overdose deaths per state.

The steady incline of overdose deaths in the United States, and specifically Pennsylvania, is concerning. Data shows that people with substance abuse disorders were hit hard when COVID-19 caused us all a disruption in our daily lives. It is important to stay aware in case someone you know is struggling silently. If we had realized Larissa was relapsing, her death possibly could have been prevented.

Asking for help isn’t easy, but if you or someone you know is struggling, there are efficient resources. No one needs to go through this alone. The Pennsylvania Department of Human Services offers several different resources on their website, including drug and alcohol treatment facilities listed by county and information on medical assistance for people who may need help with payment. Visit the website here: https://www.dhs.pa.gov/Services/Assistance/Pages/Substance-Abuse.aspx or call 1-800-662-HELP. If somebody has taken drugs and becomes unresponsive, call 911 immediately.

Genevieve, left, and Larissa, right, celebrating Genevieve’s 18th birthday. Photo courtesy of Genevieve Shawcross.

Genevieve Shawcross is a fourth-year Media & Culture major with a minor in Journalism. GS918938@wcupa.edu