For the first time in my young life, the start of a new school year does not begin with a torpid rubbing of my eyes, working up the willpower to crawl out of bed and into the shower, or meandering down the street to catch the screeching yellow eyesore for a ride to school. Instead, it began in my 2005 Toyota Matrix, loaded with the majority of my possessions and pointed in the general direction of West Chester University. The excitement for college life coursed from my head to my fingertips as I gripped the wheel driving down 202 South, anxious to be completely out on my own — again, a first.
Hopefully, most of my fellow incoming freshman had a similar exuberance upon arriving to Pennsylvania’s land of Purple and Gold. The prospect of being in control of our own daily routines is enticing enough as it is, but when you add being surrounded by thousands of kids at the same stage of life as you, campus life begins to sound like an angelic utopia. All the friends! All the parties! All the clubs, sports, and activities! How can life get any better? It’s so easy; just go to class, make friends, study some, party some, repeat.
However, there seems to be a noticeable trend amongst random student-on-student interactions, particularly that they are somewhat few and far between. In my own observations, it appears that students are not necessarily comfortable around their contemporaries yet. Everything from classroom discussions to dorm conversations have an unspoken tension, fueled by a desire to not say the wrong thing. Dull conversations are awkward in their own right, so why can we not openly say how we actually feel with one another, like we could as students in high school?
The obvious answer is this new environment – one without parental controls – filled with fraternities, sororities, and many other exclusive peer groups. These cliques offer a form of mental sanctuary from the rest of the college environments; for instance, by becoming a fraternity brother one can automatically establish himself as a member of a social group. He now wields a power in strength of numbers, but it comes at the price of conformity. As a brother, it is his obligation to stick by the fraternity’s values through all else. This means strictly abiding by the tenets of the fraternity, from the day he joins through graduation.
One of the rewards for such loyalty are the parties that are held along “frat row” over the weekends. Many students, whether they are interested in joining a fraternity/sorority or not, find these parties very enticing. Let’s be serious; everyone at least has the perception that fraternity parties are the place to be on a Saturday night for all sorts of insanity. Beer bongs? Check. Intense games of flip cup and beer pong? Most likely. Naked miles? I mean, for anyone that has seen the American Pie movies, you cannot rule anything out. Anything is possible.
So, this opens an interesting dichotomy in student perception and interaction. For anyone aspiring to get into these parties, they do not want to cast the image that they spend all their time studying. They must also be mindful of what peer groups they establish, as certain personality types amongst friends could prevent an invite based on association with “undesirables”. Basically, trying to navigate the social landscape of college is a real life adaptation of Minesweeper; you click one wrong block, and you will quickly find yourself ousted from a group.
Thus, we return to the social pressures of communication. Why do we really struggle with truly relating to one another? Perhaps it is because we are trying to cast a false representation of ourselves, for the sake of making friends. Perhaps it is because we still believe in this maligned concept of “popularity,” which serves as a cancer to free thought. Then again, maybe it’s more simple than that; maybe we just do not know how to hold conversations one-on-one for very long, and we prefer to be in large social settings so we can bounce around to various people for short term conversation.
Regardless of the causes, it appears that a common solution has taken hold in the dorms: alcohol. Is there any faster way to loosen yourself up than to down some shots? Conversation tends to be a lot easier when alcohol becomes involved, as we lose a filter within ourselves that sobriety provides. As the saying goes, “a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts,” and I believe there is a lot of merit to that. Drinking allows us to express how we truly feel to one another, while also providing a convenient excuse. However, it is also a dangerous crutch for us to lean on. Frequent heavy drinking is directly linked to a variety of health issues, and it could lead to a lack of proper social development. If we cannot trust our thoughts with anyone until we are five shots in, then we are developing a problem that will follow us out into the real world.
All in all, college is its own beautiful microcosm. The unique opportunities that present themselves to us, the students, over our time here are truly special, and we should cherish each one with a reverent passion. As the year progresses, the cliquey atmosphere will dissipate to a translucent haze amongst only a small portion of the student body. Clubs, classes, hangouts, parties, and the like will eventually allow us all to become accustomed to one another, as long as we continually try to cast ourselves out there. College, after all, is about experimentation on every level; what works for us academically, socially, and emotionally. Eventually, all these ‘firsts’ will ease into becoming just another day on campus for us.
Scott Vogel is a first-year student majoring in English. He can be reached at SV845618@wcupa.edu