There is no joy like that of a 99-pound woman who has just sucked down 167 chicken wings in 32 minutes while surrounded by mostly drunk men and barely clad strippers.
“I was so lucky to win by just two wings,” said Sonya Thomas, the diminutive Virginia “Black Widow,” who beat 409-pound Ed “Cookie” Jarvis of Long Island, N.Y., in a two-minute overtime yesterday for the fate of the world. Or, the world of Philadelphia Wing Bowl XII, at least.
The contest, sponsored annually by the WIP-AM (610) morning show, was sanctioned by the International Federation of Competitive Eating this year for the first time.
The crowd at the Wachovia Center, which had booed Thomas during her entrance, went crazy during the overtime. Crazy. Of course, it may have been the sight of a Wingette, one of the scantily clad Wing Bowl cheerleaders, flashing what the good Lord gave her. Or maybe it was the guy barfing on his seatmate in Section 125. (Note to Thomas: Next year, ask for Chick-N-Dales to go with the Wingettes.)
But so what? For three hours on a freezing Philadelphia morning, a 20,000-strong, mostly male crowd – including a Superman impersonator and someone in a Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man costume – was in arrested-development heaven. Where else can you find beer and hot dogs and Jon Bon Jovi at 6 a.m.?
“The wing contest is just secondary,” according to Al, a Pennsylvania schoolteacher who asked that his last name be with-held because he took the day off. “It’s about the pageantry.”
Ah, yes. The pageantry. That would include eating the bad-for-you food while watching the born-to-be-bad girls. The randomly clothed included both paid performers – the Wingettes, mostly dancers hired from local gentlemen’s clubs – as well as some constantly flashing audience participants, who were dubbed “the Drunkettes” by one heckler. There was even a trampoline-bouncing contest involving the Wingettes singing the alphabet song and jumping after the wing thing ended.
For those not interested in the flapping wings, flashing thighs and other enhanced parts, there was the “grown-men-crush-ing-beer-cans-on-their-foreheads-until-they-bled” contest (the Mize won, with a double-fisted strategy). The contestant-entry lap also offered diver-sions, thanks to Hank the Tank and Frank the Tank ramming their tanks into each other (Hank won).
Then there was the “throw-your-illegally-brought-in-beer-cans-at-the-contestant” game. This audience-participation event focused on one out-of-state eater, “Coon Dog,” who started his entry lap by flashing signs with the Panthers-Eagles 14-3 score.