Mon. May 16th, 2022

For music critics, lovers, and in-betweens, Feb. 8, 2004 will be one of the most spectacular and most talked about nights of the year.With the 46th annual Grammy Music Awards being aired at 8 p.m. on CBS and offering a host of the most timeless (and temporary) artists of the year, the night is sure to bring in millions of viewers across the globe.

The chance of predicting who will go home with one of the most esteemed honors of their lives is the infamous obstacle that surrounds the Grammys. No one, besides the nominating committee, could possibly pinpoint who exactly is going to win what on that evening.

The absurdity about the Grammy Award is that it is not based on the “sales or chart positions” of the nominated artists, but rather on the principle of their “artistic or technical achievement” as revealed on: http://www.grammy.com.

Of course, predictions on the event will fall short of the actual choices that will be made, but it’s fun to pretend for a little while:

Record of the Year: And the nominees are: Beyonc Featuring Jay-Z, “Crazy In Love;” The Black Eyed Peas & Justin Timberlake, “Where Is The Love;” Cold Play, “Clocks;” Eminem “Lose Yourself;” and Outkast, “Hey Ya!”

And the award goes to: OutKast. Beyonc’s booty shaking and Cold Play’s lingering depression might push OutKast’s Andre 3000 aside, but truth be told, this song is phenomenal. It’s a magnificent capture of Andre’s lyrical and instrumental ability, which should hit the nominat-ing committee over top of their heads. Plus, if anyone could stand to listen to this particular song after it’s non-stop (literally) airplay and heavy video rotation, then the award is more than deserved.

Album of the Year: And the nominees are: Missy Elliot, Under Construction; Evanescence, Fallen; Outkast, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below; Justin Timberlake, Justified; The White Stripes, Elephant.

And the award goes to: Justin. Bubble gum pop meets hip-hop when it comes to Justin’s album Justified. Even though he doesn’t appear to be “Grammy material” on the surface, the other nominees in this category seem to fall short of their chance of winning this award. Missy and OutKast will more than likely be overlooked because of their strong ties to being considered rap artists. The White Stripes and Evanescence probably will not have enough to hold their own. By the way, it’s difficult not to croon to this album that is strengthened by the backing of producers and writers such as The Neptunes, Timbaland, and Brian McKnight.

Song of the Year: And the nominees are: Christina Aguilera, “Beautiful;” Luther Vandross, “Dance With My Father;” Avril Lavigne, “I’m With You”; Warren Zevon, “Keep Me In Your Heart;” Eminem, “Lose Yourself.”

And the award goes to: Avril Lavigne. I am significantly confused as to how and why Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” is in this category. Unless the nomi-nating committee have gone off the deep end, then this song will probably be pushed to the side. Too many “yo’s” and cursing might not allow them to take it seriously. Zevon’s song is very deep, as well as Christina’s, but lyrically, Avril’s song rises above the others. It has a bit of a poetic side, and actually has meaning behind its words, so more than likely the nominating committee will consider those aspects.

Best New Artist: And the nominees are: Evanescence, 50 Cent, Fountains of Wayne, Heather Headley, and Sean Paul.

And the award goes to: 50 Cent. Where and when are his songs not being played? I’m sure that he’s probably played at retirement homes by now. With his ties to the giants of the music industry, such as Dr. Dre, Eminem and Snoop Dogg and his significant ability to make any song a hit, 50 Cent stands above the rest of the nominees in this category. Also, to avoid any sort of complications at the Grammy’s, I suggest that 50 Cent goes home with this award and no questions asked.

Best Pop Vocal Album: And the nominees are: Christina Aguilera, Stripped; George Harrison, Brainwashed; Annie Lennox, Bare; Michael McDonald, Motown; Justin Timberlake, Justified.

And the award goes to: Annie Lennox. Lennox’s album might peak over the other albums in this category solely because it has been eight years since she has produced a studio album. Coming out with Bare settled much anticipation and skepticism about whether or not Lennox would be able to remain on top. Personally, Lennox is not a favorite of mine, but considering the other artists in this category such as Christina, Justin, or even Michael McDonald to win this award is a bit far fetched.

Best R&B Album: And the nominees are: Erykah Badu, Worldwide Underground; Blu Cantrell, Bittersweet; Aretha Franklin, So Damn Happy; The Isley Brothers Featuring Ronald Isley a.k.a Mr. Biggs, Body Kiss; Luther Vandross, Dance With My Father.

And the award goes to: Luther Vandross. The reason why any of these albums were nominated is well known to me. It seems that when it comes to R&B, the nominating committee tends to fall asleep and pick nominees out of a hat. Body Kiss is practically a joke, with Ronald Isley tak-ing on his pseudo role as “Mr. Biggs.” The only one that has depth in this category and a fair chance of winning (by meaningful standards) would be Luther Vandross’ album. Hopefully, a bit of sympathy might drive his vote sky high with regard to the stroke that he had in the preceding year. If anything, he should just win because his album is a bit above the others.

Best Rap Album: And the nominees are: Missy Elliott, Under Construction; 50 Cent, Get Rich or Die Tryin’; Jay-Z, The Blueprint 2 – The Gift & The Curse; OutKast, Speakerboxxx/The Love Below; The Roots, Phrenology

And the award goes to: OutKast. This album is simply phenomenal and had a bit more clout than the other nominated albums in this category. Of course, Jay-Z’s Blueprint held in its creation a lot of his best raps and was strengthened by a host of producers and guests. At the same time, it just doesn’t quite compare to the masterpiece that the Speakerboxxx/The Love Below is. If anything, OutKast should just win this award for compiling 39 tracks between two members onto two separate CD. This is something of which no one should get tired of listening to quickly.

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