Dear Dea, My friend has really been bugging me lately. Her attitude has been foul, she ignores me when I call her, and she doesn’t want to go out with me and our other friends anymore. She has started to hang out with new people because of her new boyfriend and that is when her attitude started to change. When we’re alone she is fine, and I don’t talk to her about it then because I don’t want to ruin the peaceful times – but at the same time, it all really hurts. Can you please help me?
Dear Depressing Doormat,
First, I would like to commend you for being observant enough to realize the root of your friend’s peculiar behavior. But I must tell you that the only way you will get around this situation is by talking to your friend and being honest about it. Otherwise, she will never know how you truly feel. Do not be afraid to lose her as a friend because that may eventually happen anyway. You have to realize that the “peaceful times” that you and your friend have when you two are alone are in vain because you are still hurting.
Your honesty will hopefully show your friend the error of her ways and she may realize that many more things have changed in her life due to her new relationship that she may not notice. I know that losing a friend is scary but it’s a reality, and it has to be a chance that you are willing to take in order to protect your heart and hers. If she discontinues being your friend, know that some things are meant to happen for a reason and new people will come your way.
Lastly, I want to remind you that you are not a doormat; you deserve to be treated better than you are allowing yourself to be treated.