Sun. Jul 14th, 2024

April Fools Day, which has more or less no sound history and absolutely no relevance to todays world, is an antiquated tradition which should no longer have a place on our campus or in our country. Here at The Quad, we strive for perfection in everything that we do, and we feel that by succumbing to the incomprehensible stupidity of April Fools Day, we are jepordizing that perfection. Let’s take a look back across history at all of the issues that could have avoided if others would have simply said no to an April Fools prank:

The chain of events leading up to World War I was supposedly tipped off by the assasination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. However, contrary to most beliefs, the Archduke was never assasinated. This story is simply an April Fools prank gone too far. Ferdinand faked his own death to get one over on the Austrian people, and the rest just spiraled out of control from there.

In a similar vein, The Great Depression was also sparked by an April Fools joke gone wrong. When millions heard the faulty cry that the stock market had crashed, they pulled all of their funds from the bank and spent it all on canned food and bottled water to prepare for the impending doom. However all the money being withdrawn from ATMs at the same time is what really caused the Depression. If the jokster who sounded tried to pull THAT prank wouldn’t have, the economy wouldn’t have taken that turn.

The prank with possibly the worst effect in the course of our history took place in 1492 with the supposed discovering of America by Christopher Columbus. Columbus claimed that he found America, causing a huge stir within all of the overpopulated European countries where people were looking for a way out. However it has recently been revealed that America was NEVER DISCOVERED. The search for America is still on, and hopefully no one will be fooled this year by another claim of discovery.

As you can see, throughout our history April Fools pranks have caused plenty of turmoil that would have been easily avoided otherwise. Think twice this year before pulling a prank that could result in a fake new land, a depression, or a full scale world war.

* April Fools!

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