Tue. Nov 29th, 2022

Batman fans everywhere held their collective breaths last week as long awaited news was finally released about the next film in the highly acclaimed series. Warner Brothers, owners of DC comics and the Batman franchise, held a press conference announcing a whole slew of details including the addition of Michael Bay, director of such films as “Bad Boys,” “Pearl Harbor,” and “Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall,” as well as being a self described “explosives fanatic.”

“You know what, I just like it when things go ‘boom.’ Buildings, cars, actors careers, whatever, as long as it’s blowing up, I’m happy,” Bay said during the event held on the Warner’s lot in Los Angles.

Bay will not be replacing director Christopher Nolan on the film, but rather the filling the role of director of photography, responsible for the way a film ultimately looks on the screen and the manner in which it gets shot, and that of special effects coordinator.

As explained by the studio, Bays addition comes amongst fears of another “Watchmen” event, so to increase the palatability of Nolan’s new script, (now undergoing heavy rewrites) it is hoped Bay will appeal to a wider audience.

That was not the only news to come out of Hollywood about the film, as much of the film needed to be cast, including villains and a new love interest for the film’s star, Christian Bale. Coming off the heels of the well received “tween” vampire romance movie, “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson will play Man-Bat, a character that has yet to find its way to the silver screen.

“It’s a half man, half bat, Robert looks like a bat, what’s not to like? Plus is more of that vampire stuff, and that’s pretty hot right now, so we’re going to go with that,” studio head Barry Meyer, CEO of Warner Brothers said.

Pattinson may not be the only obstacle standing in Batman’s way in the yet unnamed film, as studio executives said they were still trying to land an actor for the part of a yet undisclosed villain.

All that was told to reporters is that the character is a brainchild of Bay and Warner top brass, a new enemy that has never before appeared in the long and storied history of the Batman made specifically for the new film.

“It’s going to be huge. Literally. You’ve seen my movie ‘Transformers,’ right? Bigger.” Bay said

Also joining the cast in the part of Bruce Wayne’s new love interest as reporter Vikki Vale is Kate Hudson, star of such films as “Fool’s Gold” and “You, Me and Dupree.”

“I just want people to take me seriously, as an actress,” Hudson said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly after the conference, “Seriously, anybody. A five year old or even one of my costars, if I do one more romantic comedy I’m afraid of what is going to happen.”

Director Christopher Nolan could not be reached for comment and was not even in attendance at the press conference.

But the same Entertainment Weekly reporter who interviewed Hudson said on a visit to his office she could hear muffled sobbing and possibly screams of agony coming from Nolan’s office before being asked to leave by his personal assistant.

Contractually obligated for the next film, Nolan, Bale, Gary Oldman (who plays Commissioner Gordon), Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine will all be returning for the next installment.

The only thing that remains to be seen is how it will all turn out. April Fools!

Kory Dench can be reached at KD608724@wcupa.edu.

* April Fools!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *