Sun. Jun 16th, 2024

After many years gone, the Philadelphia Eagles are finally returning to West Chester University.Since the early 1990’s, the Eagles have held their training camp at Lehigh University in Bethlehem, PA. The president of team sponsor Reebok, George Patterson, was involved in a physical altercation with Fred Fitzimmons, the President of Lehigh University, leading to the termination of their agreement to share the school’s athletic facilities.

Fitzimmons was admitted to Lehigh Valley Hospital with a shattered cheekbone and imprints from the soles of Reebok’s Allen Iverson shoes on his forehead.

When asked to comment about the role his sneakers played in the attack, and their impact on the Eagles training camp, Iverson non-shalantly replied, “We’re talking about practice, not a game.”

In a predictable response to the move, newly acquired wide receiver Terrell Owens is refusing to participate in the summer routine. “I didn’t sign on for this, man. Players have rights too.”

In an effort to make the team feel at home, West Chester has decided to keep Campus Corner, referred to as the Side Caf, open all summer to serve cheese steaks off the grill. Coach Andy Reid reportedly insisted on the Philadelphia staple as a condition of the arrangement.

The training camp will draw a heavy volume of spectators and members of the media to the campus. While West Chester locals are enthusiastic, Iverson reminded The Quad, “We’re talking about practice.

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