Do long distance relationships seem to make couples grow further apart than the miles in between them or allow them to get closer? While one person is at college or some other far away place, the other is left back home or at another college. Some people have been able to work out a long distance relationship while others have failed, resulting in the couple splitting up to go their separate ways. After moving to West Chester University on- or off-campus, the miles separating couples sometimes makes it difficult to maintain a relationship. For some, trust and commitment may become a bigger issue. Relationships can work by talking out problems or concerns and being truthful.
Communication is vital to couples for them to discuss all matters. For them to let each other know what they have been doing to is helpful when keeping in touch. Let the other know about which activities, clubs, sports and events that one is involved in.
Most college couples stated that they call each other almost everyday. Some couples send text messages when they get out of class or work. Keeping in touch with such messages, even on Facebook, lets the other know that s/he is thinking about the significant other and still cares.
The miles between each other can create problems that did not exist before. People in a relationship may not see each other as often as they did before. Couples responded that they both make an effort to go and see the other. It could be one going home or one visiting them at their schools. They should alternate who goes to see who to work together. If neither one makes the effort to keep in contact or visit them in person, the relationship is not likely to last.
“We talk on the phone everyday and nothing really changed when I moved in here [to the dorms],” first-year student Shanice Attaway said. “The travel back and forth is what keeps people together.” Attaway has been with her boyfriend for a year and a half and lives about 45 minutes away from him.
Couples have a better relationship when they see each other as well and not just have conversations on the phone. Attaway and other couples responded that they see their significant other on the weekends. It might be every other weekend, or any schedule that works for both of them.
Roommates, friends and family could help be supportive of a long distant relationship. When significant others are planning to visit, let roommates know in advance and make sure it is okay with him/her.
Arguments occur in many relationships and marriages, whether a couple is dating, living nearby or long distance. It takes time to get use to the changes that occur in relationships. Arguments might start over not seeing one another as much or not communicating.
Common arguments arise from Facebook messages and other postings online because people could assume something that is not true or misinterpret it. It is better to avoid problems by talking to the other person so that one can hear the person’s tone of voice and see their body language.
For many individuals, going away to attend college is the first time that they are not as close to their boyfriends or girlfriends. It can be a tough adjustment, but couples have to work together to make it last. It can work with communication, trust, honesty and making the effort to see each other. Not all long term relationships will work or last. It depends on the couples, their love for each other and their personal needs in a relationship.
Rae Dunbar is a first-year student majoring in English. She can be reached at RD655287@wcupa.edu.