How To Ask A Person Out 101

Image: Via Michael Fenton (Unsplash)

How would you ask someone out? Would you ask them out during a club meeting? Ask them for their socials when you see them sitting in the library? After they just took a hard calculus exam? Pester them for weeks trying to get their number? Or maybe you ask out someone on Snapchat?

Recently, I was asked out on a date the day after my dog died. I had said no, and we remain friends today. I was really upset and the whole thing just confused me. I do believe that there is a right and a wrong way to ask someone out. There is definitely a time and a place for it. So, it got me thinking of all the ways not to ask someone out and how the students of West Chester University would prefer to be asked out. I interviewed roughly 25 different people on campus, and here are some of their responses.

Questions Asked:

What is the worst way you have been asked out if you have been asked out?

What is the best way to ask you out if it was a stranger?

Students’ Responses:

Anonymous

1. Some dude online, [who] I talked to for a little bit, thought that he and I were dating without any confirmation and it made things weird.
2. I’d rather them try and get to know me first as a friend before diving into dating. I don’t want any pressure from it, just something that naturally happens.

Mandi (18)

1. I was asked out as a joke.
2. I would rather be friends with someone first before they ask me out.

Jack (20)

1. Never been asked out.
2. Any time, any place.

Anonymous

1. I was asked out at a party. We talked about musicals the whole night which was fine. He then gave me his number. He was sweet but I wanted to be friends.
2. Give me flowers and tickets to see a musical, movie or concert. I am yours.

Maddy (22)

1. I was sitting in a coffee shop and a guy asked me if I wanted to be his wife. I did not know him.
2. Flatter me first and then give me your number. Make me feel pretty!

Anonymous

1. Guys who add me on Snap.
2. Politely ask for my number or [Instagram]. Do not be flirty or touchy.

Lucas (19)

1. Yeah, but I didn’t realize it. I thought she just wanted my [Instagram].
2. A girl could come up to me and say, “You’re my boyfriend now.” I would be like, “Yes, ma’am!”

Anonymous

1. Probably by someone asking for my social media! I don’t have anything except for Facebook to connect with family, and it doesn’t show much effort on the part of someone trying to get to know me.
2. I actually don’t like to be asked out by strangers! I need to know a person for a while and get to know their personality before I’m interested in going out for a date. For first dates, I enjoy getting coffee with someone! It’s fun, low-stress and no one has to worry about a large bill.

Jenna (19)

1. A guy said he was the best weed dealer in Delaware, and then he asked for my number. I declined.
2. I want someone to compliment me, and then politely ask me for lunch or coffee.

Kylie (19)

1. I once had a guy ask if he could roll a blunt on my ass.
2. Treat me like a person, not an object. Ask for my number.

Dominic (20)

1. Over text.
2. Be honest, be yourself.

Anonymous

1. Schoolyard in front of everyone.
2. If I was at a party or with my friends.

Ryan (18)

1. I always ask someone out.
2. Something funny or don’t ask me at all.

Georgia (20)

1. Someone kissed my friend and then asked me out an hour later.
2. Them being straightforward and honest.

Kendall (19)

1. On Valentine’s Day, a guy gave me a box of chocolates. He then thought we were dating even though we never talked about it.
2. I am all about vanity. Call me beautiful and ask me to get coffee sometime.

The Consensus

After interviewing the people on campus, I found out that most men did not have the experience of being asked out and they were eager to have anyone approach them. If you want to ask out a guy, the chances are that they will say yes! You do not have to be formal or anything; just give it a go. The women, however, were more likely to want to get to know someone before a date or have someone flatter them and then go on a date. So compliment them and politely show them that you are interested.

My Advice

I believe you should be polite (maybe even a bit cringy) and compliment them before you ask for their number. Asking for socials is a good start, but I think it is more personal to ask for their number. Be yourself! Do not sell yourself short. Most of the people that I interviewed said they admire confidence. You are already confident just by putting yourself in the situation, so go with the flow and be who you are. I became friends with the person who had asked me out, so you might even get a new friend, or who knows what can happen in the future. A lot more people who were interviewed would rather have friends ask them out than random strangers.

Be polite, flatter them and most importantly, be yourself! I recommend asking for their number while they are sitting in Sykes or at the Dining Hall. It might be a bit scary, but I know you’ve got this.

Elaina Caber is a first year English major.