Please email personal advice questions to Malik at askmalik92@gmail.com
Dear Malik,
What’s your opinion? Is it okay to go through your girlfriend/boyfriend’s phone/facebook/e-mail either with or without their permission? Should we all just stay out or should they have nothing to hide?
Signed,
Slightly Snoopy
Dear Slightly Snoopy,
Well first let me say, that if you feel like you need to be going through your girlfriend/boyfriend’s personal things, at all, then that relationship may not be the best thing for you to be in right now. Relationships are supposed to be about trust. You shouldn’t have to question what your significant other is up to when you’re not around or who they’re talking to or whatever the case may be. But if you feel it is a must, asking for permission would be the best way to go about it. If they really have nothing to hide then it shouldn’t be a problem at all. Now, it might come up that he or she gets upset for you even questioning their loyalty to you and that is an entirely different problem in itself. Like I said before, if trust and loyalty is becoming a problem in the relationship maybe you should reevaluate who you are with.
Dear Malik,
My 17 year old sister is pregnant. I want to let her know that I support her but not act overly thrilled about it, considering the circumstances. Any advice as to what I could say to her to let her know that I’m here for her?
Signed, Supportive Sis
Dear Supportive Sis,
I know that this can be a very difficult situation to be in. You want to be happy for her because bringing life into this world is a joyous thing. On the other hand, she is very young and may not be ready to support that life. Just be honest with her. If you really are thrilled and think that she can handle it, then let her know that you will be there for here throughout the entire pregnancy and when your little niece or nephew pops out! However, if you do believe that she is not ready, you have to allow her to make her own decision. You can be there for her with whatever she needs, but she put herself in this situation and has to make a decision on what she wants to do. Help guide her on making the right decision. Things like this happen all the time but it is completely up to the individual on how they decide they want to act on it. You can only be there to support her in all the ways that you know how.