Photo by Portable Antiquities Scheme via Flickr
It was an eerie and spooky evening. Two dudes, by the names of Chad and Brad, were sauntering towards the library with the intent of studying and sobering up for the weekend full of parties.
As they walked towards the library, Chad’s Himalayan leather wallet came loose from his designer pants. Brad, concerned about his bro’s sick accessory, lifted up his undershirt with the pink whale on it, and retrieved the wallet.
“Yo C, you lettin’ the ground jack up that burry,” said Brad
“Thanks man,” said Chad.
They finally made it into the library, amidst the stormy weather. They opened the doors to the library, and were ready to get to studying.
Inside the library, the smell of coffee and paper wafted through the area. As they walked in, a dust bunny the size of a bowling ball rolled by. It began to pick up additional debris as it passed through the hallway. Chad and Brad noticed it, but they were ready to get to studying.
They headed to the business section to finish their business homework. They sat down at the desk, studying the difference between Keynes and classical economics. Chad quizzed Brad on the material, and Brad did the same. Then Brad got up with a jolt.
“We forgot to plan for the party!” Brad said.
“All good man, we got it taken care of, my girl got her sorority to come and the soda’s coming as well,” said Chad, trying to calm his bro.
However, they did have a few tests the following week and they were worried about the repercussions of the party. With that in mind, they decide to find books on partying. They were on the first floor at the time, and start walking through the hallway. They notice the adolescent section, but Chad quips, “Defo not it, buhl.”
“Inside the library, the smell of coffee and paper wafted through the area. As they walked in, a dust bunny the size of a bowling ball rolled by.”
Next, Chad and Brad make their way to the second floor. They noticed a group of girls standing around the printers while it was making sounds similar to scratching nails on chalkboard. Chad and Brad noticed that they might need some help, so they head over with an ulterior motive of inviting the girls to their party.
“Could you help us with this?” one of the girls standing around asked. Chad and Brad headed over and start staring at the printer, which was sputtering out sounds and papers. They tried to help, moving some drawers around and taking the ink in and out. The sounds stopped. All of a sudden, the printer started to smoke and flames erupted from the top. Chad and Brad, with no firefighting experience, tried to fan the flames. This was no solution, as the flames continued to gain in height. Chad and Brad, realizing this was a good time to promote their party, said to the girls. “Our party will be as lit as this.”
By then, all the girls except one had cleared the area. The librarian, somehow prepared, went over to the printer with the fire extinguisher and put out the flames. Chad and Brad ran up to the fourth floor, where it was much calmer. Chad found a book called “The History of Hops in America.” Chad, excited that he might have found the book to help them handle the week after the wild party, showed Brad triumphantly. Brad was skeptical.
“Open it, bro.” Chad did, and he noticed a paragraph on the different chemical compounds involved in crafting alcohol. They were dismayed, but trudged along the bookshelf, continuing their search. They noticed a student sleeping in one of the lounge chairs and thought about pranking her, but they were on a mission. Finally, at the end of the hall, they noticed a book that might be of interest to them.
“Chad found a book called “The History of Hops in America.” Chad, excited that he might have found the book to help them handle the week after the wild party, showed Brad triumphantly.”
It was titled “Effects of Substances on the Body.” Brad shrugged, “close enough.” They then started the long trek down the stairs to the front desk.
Chad reached out to put the book on the checkout table when the librarian from before jumps out from behind the desk and yelled “YOU.”
Chad and Brad, familiar with running from authority, bolted out the door with their book. When they were away from the library and back at the house, they looked at each other, knowing they were in trouble.
Chad smiled. “At least it is going to be a good weekend.”
Rohin Chatterjee is a second-year student majoring in biology. RC896197@wcupa.