Fri. Sep 30th, 2022

This week, the music industry lost what could be argued was the greatest band of all time, Metro Station. The break up of this iconic musical force can be likened to that of the Beatles, who Metro Station eclipsed in popularity. “They were the greatest band of the 20th century, this is a devastating loss. I’ve been crying for two weeks straight,” Miley Cyrus said (she wasn’t even paid by her brother, Trace Cyrus, who is in the band, to say that).

Now that Metro Station have disbanded, the members have settled into a more domestic lifestyle – Trace Cyrus has gone to work at a horse farm in rural Tennessee and Mason Musso has recently been hired at a local Chinese buffet.

“The demise of Metro Station AND the death of Michael Jackson all in one year?! I don’t know how much more the music industry can handle,” said Justin Bieber.

Bieber’s sentiments seem to be the popular consensus for how this loss will affect the music industry.

Amanda Warren is a fourth year student with a sarcasm major and minors in napping and pretentiousness.

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